Twelve ways to know you’re having a redneck Christmas
12. Your lights are already strung on the porch;
11. Your Christmas tree is approximately the same size as your satellite dish;
10. Household objects, such as hubcaps, are used as ornaments;
9. The horn on your 4-by S-U-something plays “Grandma Got Run Over by a John Deere;”
8. Your Christmas hearth consists of propane and God knows what else;
7. You have more plastic people lit up in your yard than real people lit up in your house;
6. You win a gift card to Walmart for the best decorations in your mobile home community;
5. Your Uncle Leroy needs bailing out after unfortunate incidents as the mall Santa;
4. Your nativity scene includes a Confederate flag;
3. Aunt Mabel makes some colorful uses of the “tree” skirt;
2. You wait on gifts from others so you can regift;
And the number one way to know you’re having a redneck Christmas:
Your wreath is square as that was the shape of the box the pizza came in.
