The New Exponent

By Gray Wattenbarger
Staff Writer

For anyone who has driven down Coach Dwain Farmer Drive lately, you
have probably noticed those ridiculous speed bumps. You know what I’m talking about – the ones that after a week are all scraped up because of cars that sit close to the ground? After speaking with Dean Mashburn, I quickly deduced that speed bumps were not designed to be that way.

The speed bumps were put in years ago because of the amount of traffic
coming down the dead-end road and the heavy pedestrian activity
walking to and from classes. It was thought that the bumps would cause
drivers to go slower and be mindful of the people, as well as other
cars around them. As students continued to barrell down Coach Dwain
Farmer Drive, school officials realized something had to be done.

Two new speed bumps were poured last week – one in front of Nocatula
Apartments and one near the entrance to the street. Not only were two
added, but each speed bump received two additional speed bumps on
either side, making for a total of three very large bumps for one
speed bump. After numerous complaints from annoyed students
and faculty, the administration decided that something had to be
done.

This morning, September 2, Nocatula residents awoke to crews ripping
up the newly placed speed bumps, causing confusion to commuters and
frustration from sleeping Nocatulians. Dean Mashburn commented that these
new speed bumps would be redesigned to be more efficient while still
serving to warn traffic to go slow.

The speed bumps may have been an irritation for a week, but they are
to serve a good purpose and keep residents and commuters safe. Now
that these new speed bumps have been redesigned and poured, we can
only hope for a less damaging experience for our cars as we drive down
Coach Dwain Farmer Drive.

*This message has been sent from my iPhone